The one thing everyone who visits Istanbul always mentions is the friendliness of its people. People go out of their way to help you and are always willing to lend a hand. But one thing I’ve found different after moving here is that the average Istanbulite is just like everyone else. Helpful, but not exceedingly so.

Especially when you get further and further away from the tourist spots. The  average Istanbulite is happy to help, but they’re not so in your face about it. They’re not in your face about pretty much everything. I’ve had to approach people for help when it had always been offered so freely before. Not such a bad thing, just different from previous experiences here.

It’s been 3 days since I arrived and most of it has been pretty low key. Uneventful, except for the fact that I moved over 8,000 km to be here. It has been surreal, as though my brain still hasn’t computed the full details yet. I’m waiting for this all to sink in; part of the delay, I know, is because I’ve meet so many people and looked at several flats, all the while keeping names and listings sorted out in a few days.

It’s mostly the waiting for news on a potential job that’s causing me stress and giving me anxiety attacks. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do if it doesn’t pan out. I don’t even want to consider the possibility… All the talk before about traveling across Turkey, and taking full advantage of the break to travel to my heart’s content was just empty talk. I’m not sure I want to do that.. And I’m not sure I can take that much me time.

Which goes back to the observation on Turkish people. I’ve been far too alone these past few days, and while they’ve been helpful and nothing short of hospitable, it’s difficult–for me at least–to make friends easily unless you’re trying to rent a room from them, or something to that effect. I need more opportunities and openers, but running around Turkey is not what I want.

I want a stable job, where you meet people every day–people with whom you form a bond with. Not transient acquaintances you meet for as few days while traveling from place to place… It’s extremely nerve-wracking to know that almost everything hinges on that one job, and not knowing for certain is killing me.